Burn
by PullingSunflowers
Summary: The second time Ryuko snaps, it's in a darkened room filled with little televisions.


**Burn**

* * *

She's cleaning up the rubble, combing through what was left of the Academy when she stumbles upon the security room. It's mostly in shambles, flickering screens and static buzzing but there are two monitors working and one catches her eye.

There's a cage being displayed and the worn label on the screen tells her it's below grounds, so Ryuko has to think for a moment why such a peculiar, single object would be there. Then it hits her full force, when she sees the shackles and she pieces together all the different accounts of those painful days. She's nauseous, sick to her stomach but it doesn't stop her from reaching out onto the dusty keyboard and rewinding until the shackles hold a captive.

She's there, watching the recording rewind faster and farther into the past and mostly it's just Satsuki scraping her nail against the floor until the white figure catches her eye. And even when Ryuko is rewinding ten times the play rate, she can see Ragyo and Satsuki and Ragyo's hands and the _things_ that are happening before her eye makes her go blind with rage.

Everything burns beneath her skin, as if someone had poured lava into her veins.

Her fists come into contact with the controls first and then the television screens. Before Ryuko knows it she's tearing the wires from under the panels and ripping through recording tapes, set on destroying all remnants of that filthy woman except for the one that's burned into her mind. Nothing hurts, not even when her knuckles are bleeding and she has a deep, oozing cut on her arm.

When she's done and the rage has barely subsided, Ryuko leaves.

It's Gamagoori that notices her, walking through the school's dusty grounds. He asks her what's wrong and when her fists connect with his face, he only grabs her hand.

"Fight me," she declares and it comes out in a voice she's only heard when Nui had pushed her over. Ryuko can feel the fibers in her muscles wreath and tense, growing hotter. She's repeating those two words until Gamagoori stops deflecting her attacks and lands a right hook on her face.

It doesn't hurt.

"That's it?!" Ryuko is screaming, not caring that her punches and kicks are connecting with hard steel. "That's it?!"

Gamagoori tries another right hook and this time Ryuko avoids him entirely, either because he is becoming slower or because she's becoming faster. She grabs his arm and uses his momentum to throw him on the floor.

"How do you plan to protect my sister?" She's on top of him, pummeling him into the ground and the strength she's using is causing him to bleed but she doesn't care. She's roaring, "if you can't stop me, how can you protect Satsuki?!" when Sanageyama pulls her away.

She elbows him in the face.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Matoi?!"

Nonon is there too now and she has a look of fear on her face that Ryuko has never seen.

"You call yourselves her friends?!" She's approaching Nonon when Sanageyama intercepts, wooden sword pointing at her. "You're her spear and shield?!"

Sanageyama brings his weapon into the sky and thrusts it down at her, tentatively. She lets it connect. She doesn't feel. He stands there, pathetic and shocked when she grabs his wooden blade and breaks it in half.

"Did your eyes see that move?" Ryuko turns around and points the broken piece at Gamagoori then Nonon, muttering "you're all fucking blind."

The shattered piece of wood hits the ground with a resounding thump. Ryuko leaves and they know better than to follow.

She finds herself walking through the slums again, similar to the way she started the school year. Mako will undoubtfully hear about her transgressions but Ryuko can't find the strength to care. She wanders and wanders some more until the streetlights come on and the orange sun sinks deep into the bay.

Her legs keep going, walking until they can't hold her up until Ryuko is collapsing in some decrepit alleyway. In a minute, there's a rush of wind beside her; the rustle of clothing and the tall tale click of heels means Ryuko doesn't have to look up to see who it is.

Wordlessly, Satsuki sinks down onto the ground with her. Ryuko can only grip the helm of her shirt tighter.

"So you found out, hmm?" Just like that the rage is back, burning like acid in her stomach. Satsuki sighs and shakes her head when Ryuko doesn't respond. "Don't be sad, okay?"

Ryuko's shoulders are quivering, like the rumble before an earthquake.

"It's not your fault or the Elites; either. We, I—I had a job to do."

She grabs at Satsuki's collar, holding tight onto the fabric, growling out "how can you do this to yourself?" when wet drops hits her hands. It takes a moment for Ryuko to realize the tears are her own. She doesn't know if it's from rage or pain, maybe both.

Ryuko can't bring her eyes up to see Satsuki but she imagines there to be that perpetual frown on her face. Instead, a hand comes up and wipes away at her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Satsuki asks and it's devoid of the menace Ryuko is used to.

"Because you won't!" Ryuko spits out and let's go of Satsuki's collar, jamming her palm into her eye sockets trying to stop the flood of wetness. She could wipe her own tears.

"I stopped crying a long time ago, Ryuko."

The implication of that single phrase makes her weep harder, guilt boiling over in her chest. Everything is hazy and unsteady, like the moments after their father's deaths so all Ryuko can do is wrap her arms around her knees and sob.

Satsuki's hesitant hand comes to stroke her head in an attempt to comfort her. "There are heros, Ryuko. And there are those who are willing to get their hands dirtied so that you, the hero, can save us." Satsuki swallows, "I did what I had to do."

Ryuko looks up from her arms, staring at Satsuki's unfazed expression and that breaks something inside of her. "I offered her sanctuary!" she barks, "that woman, that woman who—who—who did those _things_ to you…I offered her salvation."

"I hate her!" Ryuko is repeating these words again and again, hot tears rolling down her face, "I hate her and _him_ too. My dad—our father, I hate him. I hate him and her and—"

Satsuki is on her knees, wrapping her strong arms around Ryuko.

She hates everyone. Gamagoori and the others because they weren't able to protect Satsuki, their father for setting the entire plan into motion years ago, their mother for becoming a monster and herself because she offered that monster a refuge. How would Satsuki have felt if she returned to Earth with their mother? Would incarceration be any penance for the crimes she committed?

No. It wouldn't.

Ryuko cries even harder. There's wetness dripping onto the arm that Ryuko has tossed around Satsuki's neck, tears that were not her own. Satsuki is whispering, "it's okay, it's okay, it's okay" in such a watery voice that it makes Ryuko hold on tighter.

"We're so fucked up," Ryuko mutters. "The world is so fucked up. I should have—should've let it burn."

Satsuki resumes stroking the length of her head. "You don't mean that," she says in this quiet voice Ryuko has never heard before, "you don't mean that at all."

"If you let it burn, who will be Mako's friend? You won't live to go on dates or taste croquettes or graduate high school. " Satsuki holds her tighter; "I would be sad if you let this world go to waste."

Ryuko freezes, pulls away from Satsuki.

"Even after all that's happened?"

Satsuki nods slowly, even smiles a little. "Even after all that's happened."

Satsuki is wrapping her arms around Ryuko again, this time bringing her down so that she may rest her head against slim shoulders. "Someday…someday you have to take off your school uniform and become an adult. Wear your own cloths." Satsuki explains, "And when you do, you're going to have to accept that there are some ugly dressed people in this world."

"Does not make the world an awful place? No." Satsuki lays her head against Ryuko's, letting soft hiccups echo into the darkness. "Absolutely not."

Ryuko finally gets it; Senkestu's last words about her needing to move on from him and wear cuter cloths. Cloths that will make him jealous. She'll definitely wear cloths that'll look better on her than Senketsu, to honor him.

It was time to grow up now.

* * *

There are characters who seek to save the world because they see the world as a place that needs protection. And then there are characters, characters like Satsuki, who has been put through hell and back and still chooses to save the world instead of condemn it and those are the types of characters I love.


End file.
